Κυριακή 15 Ιουνίου 2014

Are you proud?

Are you proud of me? Of who I've become? You are not here and it hurts like Hell! Oh God what I would give to have one more day with you. To talk to you like I used to, to make me laugh like you always did. You could always light up a smile in this face. No matter what. You were a person I could always talk to.
And once again tears are running down my face. I have no idea why I am writing all of this in English.
I just want to make you proud when you look from high above there. I want you to see me and to have that smile that means you are proud of me. I cannot think you without feeling that hole in my chest. I don't think that it would ever mend. No one knows how I feel from the day you "left". And I can't feel fine since you were gone. I miss you. I miss you so bad that I could give up the rest of my days just for an hour with you. To talk to you and to make me feel the way you used to. To talk to you about all the things I've been through. To make me feel better in your own unique way.
I needed so much to see you. And I was waiting so badly to see you again. But all hell broke loose. And the last time I saw you was in that church.
And you are not here. And there is no way on earth to talk to you again. You know though that sometimes I talk to you before I go to sleep. And you know how much I miss you. But there is no response. No way to hear your voice to tell me one of your jokes. And it breaks my heart everytime I realise that I won't hear one of your jokes again. It's been 6 months and yet there is no getting better. There is no feeling better. I just can't! And I can't stand feel this way anymore. I want you here! To go out for some white wine and drink until we feel drunk and can't stop laughing. I miss those days. And it makes me miss them even more when I know that they won't happen again.
Why it had to be this way? Why this universe had to take you away from us? I will never forgive that. Not to you. It wasn't your fault. It was its fault. Or to whoever is running up this universe. It was one of the cruelest things to do. How am I going to feel good again? I know I won't.
I just want you to be proud of me. When you look from up above I want you to feel proud. Proud of the things I do & the person I've become. I will always feel you close.
Thank you for everything....

4 σχόλια:

  1. Πανέμορφο!
    Αν σου πω ότι κι εγώ περνάω μια φάση που γράφω στο άκυρο στα αγγλικά; χαχα

    ΑπάντησηΔιαγραφή
    Απαντήσεις
    1. Θυμάμαι από μια ηλικία που μπορούσα να μιλήσω αρκετά αγγλικά μου έβγαινε να γράφω και να εκφράζομαι στη συγκεκριμένη γλώσσα και ότι δεν ήξερα τότε τα έψαχνα. Πλέον μου βγαίνει τόσο φυσικά & πολλές φορές ακόμα πιο φυσικά από ότι τα ελληνικά!

      Διαγραφή
    2. Κι εμένα σε πολλές περιπτώσεις με εκφράζει περισσότερο η αγγλική. Πιστεύω ότι την ερωτεύτηκα από τα πρώτα μαθήματα που έκανα όταν ήμουν παιδί και η αγάπη γιγαντώθηκε όταν μέσα από τη γλώσσα γνώρισα ξένες σειρές, ταινίες και βιβλία!
      Λένε πως όποιος μαθαίνει γλώσσες αποκτά την ευκαιρία να εκφράζεται περισσότερα μέσα και συμφωνώ απόλυτα!

      Διαγραφή
    3. Ναι σε αυτό το τελευταίο συμφωνώ απόλυτα! Πολλές φορές εκφράζεσαι καλύτερα έτσι. Είναι λέξεις που σε κάνουν να τις νιώθεις πιο "δικές σου" και πιο "κοντά σου"...

      Διαγραφή